Merry Christmas Everybooteh!!!!!
I hope all of you have a tremendous time and get loads of pressies! Mwehehehe.
Love you all,
Katie. xoxo
P.S. I shall update sooooon. I just haven't found the time to blog and whatnot due to all the happenings and slowness of our internet and PC. And with that said, I have to go get ready for a Christmas dinner. Toodles everyone.
Merry Christmas! =D
Recently, people have been telling me to not fall in love. They say that if I do, I'd just get hurt again and end up feeling like I'm six feet below rock bottom. As much as I respect their concern and whatnot, I can't help it. I can't stop myself from falling.
You can't cheat love, just like how you can't cheat death. Even if in the end it hurts and breaks you, you can't prevent that. Things happen. I'm only human, I can't help the way I feel about someone. I would pull away but I've learned that the more you pull away, the more you end up wanting that person.
Plus, I'd rather take a risk than keep thinking, what if? I mean, life is about taking risks and chances right?
Oookay, so I've practically neglected blogspot and devoted majorty of my blogging time on Multiply. Oopsie.
Anyhowzer, since I've last updated a lot has happened. Again. I've kicked a few people out of my life only because I've realized that I was busy with their problems and drama that I couldn't deal with mine. And heck, I'm trying to lessen' the drama in my life just so that I can go to bed without having that heavy weight feeling. So far, it's going good. I'm less stressful and I've sorted out quite a few things. I've even made new friends along the way and I'm loving it. Why? Because the new bunch of people I hang out with don't throw their problems in my face. When we have problems, we talk about it and then laugh it off with some ridiculously hilarious comment. And the best thing is that they don't make the whole "let's talk" session about them. That's why I love them to teensy weensy bits and pieces! Yay for new hilarious friends! Smoochies!
On the other hand, I had a show last Sunday (October 28th) and it was fun. Well, apart from the fact that I was moved up from the 7th performer to the opening act. Argh. Either way, it was a good show and I'm happy. I mean, I'm damn proud of myself that I was able to perform Total Eclipse Of The Heart without forgetting the lyrics or going out of tune. *Gives myself a pat on the back.* After the show, a few friends and voice coaches and I went out for dinner and had one heck of a laughtrip. As usual. I love how when I'm with them, I'm always smiling and laughing and not worrying or stressing about whatever thingymajig is going on. It's really refreshing, I tell you. I feel a lot better about myself and other things.
Yeeeeah, I'm happy. Really happy =)
A lot of things have changed since I last blogged here. Some good things have become bad and some bad things have become good. I'm not sure if I want to go into detail of any of the things that have changed but, this is how I feel about it.
This weekend was probably the most boring weekend I've ever had. I didn't go out at all because of the lack of cash. So, what did I do? Absolutely nothing. There are days where I like not doing anything and just like to laze around but, right now is not the right time for that. I've been looking for things to keep me busy just so that I don't end up thinking. It's gotten to the point where I don't want to lay in bed because I know I'll just end up over analyzing things and think about things I don't want to think about. I want to keep being the busy bee I was last week just so that I won't start feeling sorry for a lot of things, including me. More than anything, I want to be packed to the gunnels with projects, work, rehearsals and outings. What's weird is, when you want that to happen, it won't. When I was so busy, I wanted so bad to rest and sleep all day. And now that I have that opportunity, I don't want it. I want to be super duper busy.
Earlier, I had a session for the acting workshop I've been taking and I suppose I let off some steam then. We had to do exercises where we had to be unbelievably angry and scream out the words "I hate you." I have to admit, it was relieving. I could scream as much as I want and it didn't even matter, because that's what we had to do. And then, there came the crying part. I must admit, I cried my ass off. It wasn't sorry tears though, it was more of angry tears. Even though my angry tears had nothing to do with the imagery the instructor put into my head. But, I was angry. And I needed to let it out without feeling so weak. And, I did. By the end of the session, I was so relieved and I didn't even feel like the weakest person on earth. And, that's a good thing.
I really don't like crying. Mainly because I'm sick of it so there are time I try my best to control it and just not let it get to me. But, there's a limit to that. I can only hold so much in and I can only control myself to a certain extent. And when I reach that point, I don't like what happens.
So, at this point, I don't know what's more relieving. Letting it out when that moment happens or just let it build up inside so that ALL the crappy things can just come out all at the same time?
Tell me, how would you feel if your parents called you a disappointment, embarrassment, disrespectful and ugly?
Well, for me, it's made me not want to socialize or be around people. I just want to be alone, lie in bed all day and practically drown myself in thoughts. I don't have the appetite to eat which, will probably make someone happy. I mean, how does hearing those words motivate someone?
Basically, I've been put into zombie mode; the feeling when I wish I was never alive or too caught up in something to feel like how I do now. Yeah, I practically wish I was a zombie.
...No pain and dead.
On the 25th of August, I had an acoustic gig at Caliente bar. It was super fun and nerve racking but I loved it! Can't wait for the other upcoming gigs. But till then, I am unbelievably packed with rehearsals and the fashion show which, will be on the 1st of September. At some point, I'll post up my sched. But that will be when I get confirmation about other gigs.
Anyhowzer, pics from the acoustic gig! Or some...
Backstage pic with the other singers. 
This really reminds me of a family picture. Hahahaha.
Lovin' The Necklace. *wink*
